Bootstock 08

ok my dad helps put on this festival every year called BOOTSTOCK to raise money for deprived kids in nepal. I was speaking to our chef tonight and he has told me dad hasnt done ANYTHING for it yet and when i mean anything, i mean ANYTHING, but the thing is that all he really has to orginise is the bands to come and play, thats it, you have say £7k to spend on the bands and away you go, the chef will orginise everything else....... but no dad hasnt go in touch with anyone and now all the main bands that we might have just been able to get , wont be able to come cause there booked for somewhere else, that and that another festival LOOPALLU is the week after so the likely hood of us getting a decent amount of people is minimal, i'm so angry though, because i can do all this shizz, im perfectly capably but no one will take me seriously because im only 15, which is why i cant wait til im 18... people say you shouldnt wish away your childhood but the thing is, its not that im wishing away my childhood, im doing the exact same things as i think i would be its jsut i need to be older, because people dont take people my age seriously and its not fair. I would love to orginise a festival myself and i probably could but i can't because of my age. And its not that it wouldnt happen its jsut stupid little comments that people make..

well thats my rant for today finished
X

fitting in...

i was sitting by myself the other day, i dont really fit in anywhere
some of my friends are older than me so have different ways of looking at things and their leaving school soon, 15 school day to be exact and it sucks and im gonna miss them big time, well its not really a them more a her, My Twigs is going and i dont know where, she doesnt know where and im not gonna get to see her and im gonna miss her like hell, i dont know what i would have done without her these last couple of months its insane....
but yeah back to my point, after she leaves i dont really know what im gonna do friend wise, because yes i have friends, quite alot of them tbh but i dont really have that special group that everyone bangs on about, after tw=igs goes i dont know where i;ll belong because like shes holding our group together i dunno what guy will do when she leaves with hanging out with me and i dont really have a group that i hang with at lunch, im so fking busy... i have my dancer, but she has other "close" friends she hangs with and K and K are lovely but i dont think ill be hanging out with them and my old friends i cant really go back to them coz i sorta ditched them at the end of last year for all my activities and i know they understand that but its like, will they take me back, im not in with what they do anymore, we used to have a routine and now that routine has changed and i guess i left before that happened. i dunno, i'll figure something out, but i dont think there will be any danger of me gettinf in with the comrie lot, too much clash of personalities there as it is, i really shouldn't get involved.

well
X

a special girl

This post is directed at one girl in particular, she knows who she is so it really don't matter, names arent important in this. I just want her to know, even though i've said it a thousand times, and i'll say it a thousand times more if i need to. That i am here all the time, everyday, everynight. She doesnt need to pretend that everything is find, FUCK THAT!! if she wants to be sad i'll be there, if she wants to be happy ill be there, if she wants to pretend everything is ok then fine but im not going to and i dont think she should. IM AT THE END OF A PHONE.... no matter where i am in this god forsaken planet i'm always on the end of my phone, ill keep topped up and batteried up just for her, just so that if she needs to talk, no matter what about im here. if she wants a hug she knows where i am. And i know that i am selfish sometimes, like when im with guy and i want to just talk to him and the twirls come up and i ignore them, IM SORRY and just thump me and tell me to remember what i said. im here for you.. ok

and just so we're clear, you are accepted, by the coolest group of people ever, us. We love you and you can hang out with us, whenever!! ok??

well yeah I LOVE YOU BURGER DONT EVER FORGET THAT!

My little fairy

I love her,
i miss her
she is beautiful,
she is smart
she is lovely
she doesnt hurt people
she doesnt hurt herself
The worst way to miss someone is for them to be sitting right there in front of you!
this isnt only true for lovers, this is also true for friends
she hates herself for what has happened and its not her fault
i wish i could make it better
i wish i could help
i only hope she knows how much everyone loves her!
She lost him
she lost without him
what can i do to make her better
how can i fix her
what can i do
She is the fairy that blew off her wings

help me..
please..............

Today...

Today i sang a song with my bestfriend kirsty, it was good fun and i was terrible in it but still, its all fun and games right??
yeah we sang this song i wrote called fly by and its about how you can get wrapped up in problems and shizz that you forget to live your life and that there is always someone special in your life that can help you, and when you look at them, or even think about them you feel so much better and its so much easier to think straight.



well yeah thats really all my news for today..
love you all
sleep sweet
<3

First Full Day at la musique camp

Well today is the first full day of music camp and it was ok, I guess, I was having fun but im still a 2nd desk 2nd violinist and I’m like well pissed off but hey ho, yeah well I don’t relaly have much to say today and that so I think im just gonna leave it there…. Love you
XX

Music camp the first night

Well I’m now at music camp 08, it’s rather good fun, but there has been a big deal made over the dorms and shizz and its such a pain, because we were all given dorms at the beginning of the day and then everyone swapped about so they could be with their mates - fair enough (I didn’t bother because I always just talk to the people who are put in my dorm) but now theirs a bunch of people that don’t have dorms and there is like 5 of them and they want to share TOGETHER and it’s like come on people, you need to like grow up, you can be split into a 3 and a 3 or something. And the thing that really pissed me off was that they actually nearly asked if WE (the people that have been here all day and didn’t cause any trouble) to move so that they could have beds together and I was like, excuse me?! To start with your like 1st/2nd year and your expecting ME to move for you??

Come on. There is a pecking order here and sorry lovelies but your at the bottom!!!

Oh and within actual rehearsals, I am 2nd violin, 2nd desk. And I’m rather hacked off about that because I am like grade 5 standard and that. And then I know we need strong players in 2nds but I got demoted from 1st desk which sucked big time L
The pieces we’re playing this year are alright, a bit cheesy but fun, :
Boulevard of broken dreams - Greenday, which is ace, ‘cause we have to do ghost sixteenths, which is tres fun
Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire - alright but yeah…

African American air - is good, a couple of bits that I had to think about but otherwise easy

Victorious Knight - awesome