goodbye.

Its ridiculous... I made my blog so that I could write what I thought and not worry about people finding out what I thought or how I felt... now I can't say anything anymore... I have to filter it. Because as much as I trust everyone that reads my blog. I really can't say some of the things I want to say. And before you all go and freak out and think that you've done something to annoy/ upset me. I want to tell you this, the world does not revolve around you. This is my blog, here the world revolves around me. And this stuff is purely me. It has nothing to do with you or anyone else for that matter, ok thats a lie, it is to do with other people. But its not things I want to share but I need to get out of my system and putting things on my blog, so I could see the words and know that they are finally out, thats when I know I don't need to think about them anymore but no. I can't even have that anymore.. I guess before it was ok, because I was using my blog to talk to you, without talking to you.. and that is all well and good. But there are things I don't want to tell everyone about but I need to figure out in my mind.. for various reasons, you worry, you don't approve, you judge. Whatever the reason, I don't want you to read it. And that is the only thing that it is. And I don't want texts, or emails, or phone calls asking if i'm ok, and I know that you will all discuss this amongst yourself, knock yourselves out tbh I'm past caring. I stopped caring a long time ago. Say what you want, speculate all you want. This is my story and i'm keeping it. The fact that my space is no longer my space.. is irrelevent. I have to keep my secrets, everyone has secrets. Just some people display them more publicly than others.. but everyone has something they havent told anyone, something that is purely theirs and that is all I want. And its not that I dont trust you, or I don't love you or whatever the hell you are going to think up to make it seem like it has something to do with you. NOT EVERYTHING IS TO DO WITH YOU! Seriously get over yourself. Tbh I'm fed up with every situation no matter who its about returns to have something to do with you. And thats another thing. I feel that I can't write things that I want to blog about because it will upset people... the whole point of this bloody thing was so that I didn't upset people but still got to channel my thoughts.. I should never told anyone about it. I'm such an idiot.

So in conclusion this will be my last post for a while, if not forever. This blog was good for what I wanted it for until it lost its purpose and I had to start thinking about what I wrote. Then it failed because that was the point. I don't need to think, I can just write and get all the messed up thoughts out of my head and onto my blog.

Goodbye

Much love
M
x

Small things affect people in big ways. Small things that wouldn’t mean anything to some people can mean the world to another. It’s like when a person who loves you smiles at you, it’s nothing special, yet feels utterly magical. Some say that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But in the time after love is lost you can feel as if you never wanted it in the first place.

15.02.09

hello fair blog readers.
how are we all... bet you dont feel as shite as me because i do feel truely crappy :)
i appear to have some form of flu..

so i am going to go to sleep
xxxxxxxxxx

why i havent been about for a while...